You know everyone seems to have a "Bucket List: - those things you want to do in life before, well, you're life is over. A person's personal Bucket Lists can tell you a lot about that person. Some people long for adventure and have a bucket list filled with things like sky diving and swimming with sharks. Others want to see the world and travel to remote places. Some peoples' bucket list is filled with righting past mistakes and reconnecting with people who were once important to them. Still others want to do iconic things like be in Times Square on New Year's Eve or Run with the Bulls in Spain.
Me - well I have a different kind of Bucket List. It's a Cooking Bucket List. I know - how boring. It's not written down anywhere but in my mind I have a long list of things that I want to learn to cook in this lifetime. Correction - Not just learn - but Master!
I love to cook. I love to go to the grocery store. I really love a gourmet food shoppe. I am over the moon in a great kitchen supply store. And if I ever have a mental breakdown, you will find me in the cookbook section of Barnes & Noble, curled up in a ball with my Starbucks vanilla latte, reading a cookbook.
Yes, I love making food. Unlike most people, I love cooking AND baking. It is relaxing to me, especially when I am making an old familiar recipe. They are like old friends - comforting and calming. If I've had a stressful day, a batch of chocolate chip cookies or a bowl of potato salad will de-stress me better than a long bath. Now, I eat what I make but the act of eating the food is not the comfort to me - it's the act of cooking that calls to me. It's my creative outlet.
I enjoy reading cookbooks like novels - from beginning to end. There is usually one on my nightstand. This too is a calming pursuit, one that is cheaper than endless experiments in the kitchen. I also enjoy cooking shows and blogs and find a lot of inspiration and ideas from some of my favorite cooks.
So, back to my boring Bucket List. Today, I took the first step toward checking one of those things off my list - homemade pizza dough. I know - how simple of me. As I type, my beautiful pizza dough is resting in my fridge waiting to be rolled out for tonight's supper. I can't wait! It smells wonderful. I'm sure I'll tweak it a bit before I settle on my preferred "go-to" recipe, but for me this is one more thing that I've been wanting to learn to cook that I can check off my list.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
And babies came...
I was reading a post on a new blog tonight when I came across this phrase -"and babies came." As it often happens, it triggered a thought that has led to this post. The phrase itself seems like a phrase that just states a fact. A couple got married and then babies came. It implies the "expected" and the "inevitability" of babies coming into a family.
For us, things were quite different. We married and then no babies came. We had planned on a large family that would be spaced just right, but no babies came. We cried, and prayed, and wished, and still no babies came. We sought doctors, and medicines, and procedures, and diagnoses, and still no babies came. Our rooms and our hearts were empty. We sought God's wisdom and peace. We longed for little ones and still no babies came. We hurt. Infertility is a unique heartache that can only be known by those who have lived it.
Years passed by and still no babies came. We filled our lives with home renovations, careers, and entertainment. We drew near to each other. We came to accept that there may never be any babies to come into our family. Our dream of a large family died a bit more with each passing year. We still prayed, and cried, and tried, and still no babies came.
Just a few weeks after our tenth anniversary, we found out we were expecting. And then babies came, in God's timing and on His schedule. Three in less than three years. First a girl, then 13 months later another, then 21 months later a boy.
I learned so much about God through our journey through infertility. I am still learning from it even now.
People assume that we are done, that our family is complete. I honestly do not know. The main thing I learned about God is that He is in control. He alone opens the womb. He allows us the illusion of control and sometimes gives us what we ask for but He is still in control. I still have the condition that caused our infertility. Who knows if I will be able to have another child? Only God knows. We gave God our fertility already, many years ago when we had no babies and little hope of having any. Why now would we change our minds? If we can trust that He knows what is best when we have none then why can't we trust Him when we have three?
I guess what I am trying to say is that the lessons I learned in the dark, are still true in the light. Our journey to parenthood forever changed our view of God, unborn children, pregnancy, and birth control.
For us, things were quite different. We married and then no babies came. We had planned on a large family that would be spaced just right, but no babies came. We cried, and prayed, and wished, and still no babies came. We sought doctors, and medicines, and procedures, and diagnoses, and still no babies came. Our rooms and our hearts were empty. We sought God's wisdom and peace. We longed for little ones and still no babies came. We hurt. Infertility is a unique heartache that can only be known by those who have lived it.
Years passed by and still no babies came. We filled our lives with home renovations, careers, and entertainment. We drew near to each other. We came to accept that there may never be any babies to come into our family. Our dream of a large family died a bit more with each passing year. We still prayed, and cried, and tried, and still no babies came.
Just a few weeks after our tenth anniversary, we found out we were expecting. And then babies came, in God's timing and on His schedule. Three in less than three years. First a girl, then 13 months later another, then 21 months later a boy.
I learned so much about God through our journey through infertility. I am still learning from it even now.
People assume that we are done, that our family is complete. I honestly do not know. The main thing I learned about God is that He is in control. He alone opens the womb. He allows us the illusion of control and sometimes gives us what we ask for but He is still in control. I still have the condition that caused our infertility. Who knows if I will be able to have another child? Only God knows. We gave God our fertility already, many years ago when we had no babies and little hope of having any. Why now would we change our minds? If we can trust that He knows what is best when we have none then why can't we trust Him when we have three?
I guess what I am trying to say is that the lessons I learned in the dark, are still true in the light. Our journey to parenthood forever changed our view of God, unborn children, pregnancy, and birth control.
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