And babies came...

I was reading a post on a new blog tonight when I came across this phrase -"and babies came."  As it often happens, it triggered a thought that has led to this post.  The phrase itself seems like a phrase that just states a fact.  A couple got married and then babies came.  It implies the "expected" and the "inevitability" of babies coming into a family. 

For us, things were quite different.  We married and then no babies came.  We had planned on a large family that would be spaced just right, but no babies came.  We cried, and prayed, and wished, and still no babies came.  We sought doctors, and medicines, and procedures, and diagnoses, and still no babies came.  Our rooms and our hearts were empty.  We sought God's wisdom and peace.  We longed for little ones and still no babies came.  We hurt.  Infertility is a unique heartache that can only be known by those who have lived it. 

Years passed by and still no babies came.  We filled our lives with home renovations, careers, and entertainment.  We drew near to each other.  We came to accept that there may never be any babies to come into our family.  Our dream of a large family died a bit more with each passing year. We still prayed, and cried, and tried, and still no babies came.

Just a few weeks after our tenth anniversary, we found out we were expecting.  And then babies came, in God's timing and on His schedule.  Three in less than three years.  First a girl, then 13 months later another, then 21 months later a boy. 

I learned so much about God through our journey through infertility.  I am still learning from it even now.
People assume that we are done, that our family is complete.  I honestly do not know.  The main thing I learned about God is that He is in control.  He alone opens the womb.  He allows us the illusion of control and sometimes gives us what we ask for but He is still in control.  I still have the condition that caused our infertility.  Who knows if I will be able to have another child?  Only God knows.  We gave God our fertility already, many years ago when we had no babies and little hope of having any.  Why now would we change our minds?  If we can trust that He knows what is best when we have none then why can't we trust Him when we have three?

I guess what I am trying to say is that the lessons I learned in the dark, are still true in the light.  Our journey to parenthood forever changed our view of God, unborn children, pregnancy, and birth control.