Complications

This pregnancy has been my easiest ever. We were very excited awaiting the arrival of our Lucy Claire. Then, on Christmas Eve, I began to swell. Over the next few days, I noticed the familiar signs of preeclampsia. Since it was the holidays, I waited for my appointment on January 4th. Preeclampsia was diagnosed and I was sent to the hospital for observation and testing. It was more progressed than we thought, so that began a chain of events that has lead to the following post.

Please read this and understand it was written with humbleness and brokenness. I do not mean to sound preachy in any way, but felt God was leading me to share this. I hope it finds its intended audience.

An Inconvenience and An Invitation


So, I am lying here at three a.m., on complete bed rest. For 40 hours now I have been unable to stand, sit completely up, or even roll completely on my side. I am covered with monitors, have several tubes collecting bodily fluids, and multiple things covering parts of my body to ensure there is no clotting.  The meds they are pumping in me have begun to affect my vision and my ability to think clearly. The only things I can really move are my arms and head, and those are limited.  I am unable to eat or drink. I have 18 hours left to go in this current state. Hopefully this will be enough to keep the condition from progressing and the rest will be a waiting game.

I had mild preeclampsia during my first pregnancy with Lyra Kate.  The risk of my developing preeclampsia in another pregnancy was higher than normal, but for us it was a risk worth taking.  Truthfully, the diagnosis sounds scary, but really, it's manageable. I'm receiving excellent care, and if I should get worse, Lucy can be born within minutes, and I can receive more aggressive treatment.

As cringe worthy as this may sound, in reality, it is just an inconvenience. There is nothing happening that is permanent, only temporary. I am not suffering from pain or even damaging my body for the long term - I am just buying time. Each moment that passes which Lucy Claire is still safe, tucked under my heart, reduces her risk of having complications - complications that could be life threatening or life altering. So, we will wait. I will be still. I will gladly answer their questions every hour and offer them my veins to draw more blood, even though I have been stuck over a dozen times in three days.

This is a dark path we must trod that will lead us up the mountain to see light. "Lucy" means "the bringer of light" and we are sure she will live up to her name when she arrives.

Scott took a picture of me with all my added bells and whistles and I forbid him from showing it to anyone. He said he was taking the picture to keep, so one day he could show the children that this was, "what love looks like." This is another one of the million reasons that I absolutely love this man - he knew that was what I needed to hear and he wasn't afraid to say it.

He is right, this is what love looks like.

This is the love that God teaches - the sacrificial love, the love that costs something, the love that asks more than you could ever imagine giving; the dying to yourself type of love. 

God has extended to me an invitation
- come, and be still, and know that I am God. I am the God of love.  Experience this situation, do not be afraid to seek its blessing.  For as a child of God, ALL of life - the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult, is to grow us. In the dark, if we embrace it and allow ourselves to feel God's presence and grace, we will learn more of who He is and who we are called to become. 

So I'm taking God up on His invitation.  I am claiming a few promises:

Philippians 4:6-7
⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 3:14-21
⁴ For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶ I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Philippians 4:11-13
¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

James 1:2-4
² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 5:13-15
¹³ Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

1 John 3:16
¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

1 John 4:18-19
¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.