A Suprise Baby?

Our children's converse shoes plus a new pair for a new baby

In case you haven't heard, we are expecting a new addition here in the Land of Lentz.  We are very excited.  We have shifted in the last few weeks into full pregnancy mode - cravings, exhaustion, nausea, maternity clothes - everything you would expect when you're expecting.

The above picture was taken by Scott on our sidewalk out front.  This was how we announced to the world, via Facebook, that we are expecting again.  It was cute, fun and easy.  A lot easier than tracking down 20 to 30 people and telling them one at a time.  That was great with the first three but we thought this would be quick and easy.  We would let the shocked public spread the word for us!

Of course, we've gotten some great comments.  Most we smile at and just go on.  Scott has his own way of dealing with inappropriate comments that is usually funny but embarrassing to the one bold enough to venture something they think is clever.  Of all the comments, the one I actually had to think about was "is this a "surprise" baby?" 

After contemplating that for a couple of days I came up with the answer - Yes and No.  First, I'll explain the Yes.

Yes, this baby was a surprise, just like the last 3 have been a surprise.  Why? Because we had 8 years of infertility.  We didn't just have a hard time getting pregnant - we had a hard time getting pregnant, staying pregnant, ovulating, everything! Before we had Lyra Kate in our tenth year of marriage, we experienced the following things:

Diagnosis of PCOS and anovulation (meaning I had no eggs to ovulate)
Medication therapy resulting in a pregnancy
Lost pregnancy at 14 weeks due to progesterone underproduction
Several years of anovulation
Many tests to determine exact problems with a fertility clinic
Fertility drugs
Declaration by fertility doctor that in vitro was our best hope, but even then I may not be able to carry a 
   child to term
Found a new doctor and started over with treatments
More drugs - every drug on market for fertility tried over 3 years in varying dosages
IVF injectable drugs used with Artificial Insemination
Artificial Insemination - tried 14 times
Surgery to correct issues - some endometrosis removed, a tilted uterus fixed, a herniated uterus fixed,
    ovarian resectioning
Recovery time from surgery waiting for my body to try to ovulate
More drug therapy
Another miscarriage at only 5 1/2 weeks
Declaration by our doctor that there was nothing else he could do for us so he was recommending in vitro
Consultation with in vitro doctors who declared we were good candidates

And then what happened, we got pregnant with Lyra Kate.  I took hormone therapy until my 16th week to stay pregnant with her.  We were actually waiting on my cycle to go start our first round of in vitro when we discovered we were expecting - surprise!

After she came, we were told the worst thing that I could do for my body was to introduce any type of synthetic hormone (birth control) to my system.  We decided to forgot birth control.  I mean we hadn't used any birth control for 10 years and we only had one child!  What were the chances....

We then found out we were expecting Lila Grace.  Surprise!  We were ecstatic!!  We just "got pregnant"!  No trying. No waiting.  I still took hormone therapy for 12 weeks to stay pregnant.

After Lila Grace's birth we thought long and hard about birth control.  We decided to forgo using any form of birth control and just see what happened.  Shortly after Lila's first birthday, we found out we were expecting Tucker.  Surprise!  We were thrilled. 

After Tucker's birth, our birth control decision remained the same.  We spent so much time worrying about getting pregnant for so many years that we just were not going to worry about it and let God send us the children that he wanted us to have.  I know, we crossed into crazy land on that one. 

And that leads us to now, expecting number 4.  When this one arrives, and it is only one, we will have a 4 year old, a 3 year old, a just turned 2 year old, and a newborn.  The girls will soon have birthdays and be 5 and 4, but we will still have four under five years old.

So, yes this child is a surprise.  Why?  Because I still have PCOS and can stop ovulating at any time. Because this child was unplanned.  Because, we lived a lot of years thinking and being told that this dream of having children would never happen for us. 

Now, let me explain the NO....

No, this child is not a surprise.  Why?  Because of what happened when we were waiting to start in vitro.  I was devastated.  I did not want to go through in vitro.  I was tired.  We were broke.  I didn't think I had the resolve left to walk through that.  So I had a moment, a conversation with God.  A conversation very similar to the one Christ had in the garden.  I asked God if there was any way for me to avoid this.  If he would just provide a different way.  Well, he did.  Without even trying, we got pregnant.  I knew the moment the test read positive that this pregnancy would end with a baby.  We had done all we could do.  Medicine had fixed what they could and then God stepped in an provided. 

After Tucker was born, we had a lot of sleep issues with him.  I don't think I got a regular night sleep for the better part of a year.  I was so exhausted.  I also had a c-section with him and  hiatal hernia surgery when he was 3 months old.  I was told by my doctors it would be best if I waited a year before getting pregnant. Well, I just trusted that if we were going to have another baby, God's timing would again be right.  What do you know, it's been 13 months since my hernia surgery.

So I guess that's why this baby is and is not a surprise.  He or she is a surprise because I am still amazed that we have 3 children and are expecting a 4th after all we went through.  And that he or she is not a surprise because God is still in the business of miracles if we only chose to see them.