Thursday, May 26, 2011

I wil be thankful anyway

As I sit here looking south out the hospital window, the last light of the day is fading away.  A surgeon's skilled hands repaired what was broken today.  I am in pain.  I cannot eat, just drink.  I'm losing my voice.  But I am healing and I will be thankful anyway.

I miss my babies.  I cried hard when I drove away last night.  I cry now when I think too long about them. 
They don't understand where Mommy has gone.  I need hugs and kisses and to smell that baby smell.  I will not see them for a couple more days but I will be thankful anyway.

I laid on the operating table this morning shivering and staring up at the bright surgical lights.  I am always nervous when they put me to sleep.  I hated that I needed this surgery.  I wanted to avoid it.  I laid there and talked to God as my consciousness faded away. I feel broken but I will be thankful anyway.

It so easy to be thankful for the good things in life.  I am learning to be thankful for everything - the hard things, the painful things...the fullness of life.

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