Raising Beautiful Girls

I get lots of comments on how beautiful our girls are.  I try to always be gracious and say thank you.  Of course, we think they are beautiful.  I tell them many times a day how pretty they are, how pretty their hair is, or how lovely their smiles are.  I want them to feel pretty just the way God made them. 

Blue-eyed Baby

There is a danger though when it comes to raising little girls in our society - The danger of making it too much about how they look!  We see it when little girls are dressed inappropriately at young ages, when preteens are already obsessed with their weight, and with girls who only feel pretty if someone is telling them that they are pretty (and the parents' opinion doesn't count).

Chocolate covered cutie

So after much prayer, observation, and consideration, we have come up with a few things to consider as we raise our beautiful girls:

1.  We want our girls to be content with the way God created them.  So many women are obsessed with changing something about their outward appearance that it changes their self-perception and occupies too much of their mind.  I'm not saying they won't have braces or ever pluck their eyebrows, but things about their bodies that are unchangable should not be despised.
2.  We want our girls to take care of their bodies.  This means having good hygiene and learning to maintain their bodies.  We want them to have healthy habits like wearing sunscreen and flossing. 
3.  We will not participate in "so-called beauty pageants". Our girls are only 2 & 3 and don't even know what a beauty pageant is, but I believe at this age the pageants are more for the parents than for the child.  Changing a child's appearance with over done hair, makeup, and spray tans is making little girls into little adults - not promoting the things that make these little girls naturally beautiful. 
4.  We will emphasis inner beauty five times as much as outward beauty.  Some of the most beautiful women I know are plain women who exude inner beauty in their lives.  I want our girls to reflect a beautiful soul.
5.  We will dress our children in age-appropriate and modest clothing.  I am shocked sometimes at the way toddlers are dressed and at the clothing available for little girls.  String bikinis are not cute on 18 month-olds... ever!  I know this will be a battle until adulthood, but it is one I am passionate about.  Modesty is not a virtue in our culture.
6.  We will teach our children to see the beauty in others. Little girls learn to be mean to other girls and are usually critical of how other girls look and dress.  I believe all children are beautiful.  I believe everyone has something about them that is pleasing - eyes, smile, hair, personality.
7.  We will try to be the main influence in their lives as parents and not let media, culture, or peers take our place.  We are already very selective in what our children are exposed to.  We don't watch a lot of commercial television (we record most things and skip the commercials), we only watch age appropriate things, and we greatly limit our girls' exposure to other children.  Yes, we are over-protective.  Yes, we will continue to be over-protective.  Yes, I believe so many children are under-protected. 

Hat-loving little girl

I know as our girls get older there will be many more challenges concerning their looks.  This list will change and evolve as they grow and as we, as parents, learn.  We will make mistakes.  But, I believe it is worthy to have a goal.  I believe it is smart to know what habits and behaviors you would like to avoid and to have a gameplan as to how to do just that.  I believe that I only get one shot at this and that it is worth my time and energy to raise beautiful girls.

Sitting-pretty baby

A Blog Break

Ok, so I had to take some time off from blogging...  I just had to.  I hated to, but things got pretty busy around here and well, I had to take some time off.  I regret it.  But, after my surgery, I vowed until I tackled the mess that was our master suite, I would not blog.  And yes, I just got around to really cleaning up our master suite...since June.  Now, I've "spot" cleaned (where you vacuum or clean the toilet or change the linens on the bed), but I just now cleaned the entire area at once for the first time in months.  Well, except Scott's dresser.  I have no idea what to do with all the stray junk that clutters the top of his dresser, so I just put it on his honey-do list and declared the master suite clean.  Still junkie in places, but done. 

Now, on to the reason that the master suite was in such a state - sleep-deprivation.  I have never, in all my years, experienced the level of exhaustion that I have had for the last 229 days. Since our little man came into our lives, I have been functioning on very little, disjointed, poor quality sleep.  My average for weeks would be about 6 hours a day - 2 hours in bed, followed by an hour awake, followed by 2 hours in the recliner holding a 15 pound restless baby, followed by another hour awake, followed by an hour in the bed, then an hour nap in the afternoon - if I was really lucky.  August and September were the worst.  I had no reserve energy left.  I was in survival mode! 



Tucker during naptime

 We had sleep issues from day 1 and they have just gotten worse.  During the first month he required a light on and the TV, with voices, to be able to sleep.  Then he had colic.  Then he had tummy pain because of milk problems.  Then he started teething.  Finally, just last week, he has started to sleep consistently most nights, although he still gets up one to two times a night for a snack. 




Grinning little man

 To say these last few months have been a struggle would be an understatement.  I feel as if I am always behind, way behind, like still rocking-the-eighties-mullet behind!  I feel as if I need to be doing other things - like laundry, cleaning, or showing my girls some attention.  Everyday is a day of the "what absolutely HAS to be done today and cannot wait" kind of day.  I truly have not had the energy to do anything else.  I have had no creativity during this time.  I haven't felt like doing anything that takes any thought or effort like learning a new recipe or decorating.  But, now that I am getting more sleep, that is starting to change. 





Naptime Buddy


Our little man has been worth the effort no matter what!  He is a loving, cuddlebug full of joy and curiosity.  He only has eyes for me...and is my biggest fan since he always stops crying if I sing "You are my Sunshine" to him.  He has a special bond with Lyra Kate and thinks Gracie is so funny.  He seeks his Daddee's attention whenever he is in the room.  He was well worth the loss sleep and lack of energy for the past few months, but I still hope that those days are behind us now.  I'm ready for long, uninterrupted nights of restful sleep again.

I wil be thankful anyway

As I sit here looking south out the hospital window, the last light of the day is fading away.  A surgeon's skilled hands repaired what was broken today.  I am in pain.  I cannot eat, just drink.  I'm losing my voice.  But I am healing and I will be thankful anyway.

I miss my babies.  I cried hard when I drove away last night.  I cry now when I think too long about them. 
They don't understand where Mommy has gone.  I need hugs and kisses and to smell that baby smell.  I will not see them for a couple more days but I will be thankful anyway.

I laid on the operating table this morning shivering and staring up at the bright surgical lights.  I am always nervous when they put me to sleep.  I hated that I needed this surgery.  I wanted to avoid it.  I laid there and talked to God as my consciousness faded away. I feel broken but I will be thankful anyway.

It so easy to be thankful for the good things in life.  I am learning to be thankful for everything - the hard things, the painful things...the fullness of life.

But I'm afraid of the dark...

We are standing here at a fork in the road.  One path is clear and bright.  It is a familiar path- just like the path before the fork.  The other path is only lit a few feet before it is obscured by darkness.  It's obstacles are hidden, unknown.  We have to choose the path for us.  We can't stand at the fork forever....

In case you haven't heard, at the end of the week my dear hubby will be changing jobs.  I have very mixed emotions about this change.  Not only is he changing jobs but he will also be changing career paths by stepping into full-time ministry.

I must admit that I am a bit scared.  This part of our lives, our income and vocation, is something that was easy to see.  He would work for the bank and would receive a small raise and an occasional promotion until he was old enough to retire.  We would live in one place, raise our children, and grow old together just as we had planned. But now God has asked more of us, and our path is hidden from view - somewhere out there in the dark. We have signed on to serve God vocationally and that may lead us places that we never thought we would go. It may mean less income for our growing family or moving one day to follow God's calling in our lives.  For the first time in our lives together our future is unseen.

When Scott first considered going into full time ministry, there were many things that appealed to me about this change.  He would have more time at home than before, since he has had a full time job and a part time job for the past five years.  He would have more flexibility in his daily schedule, like coming home for lunch occasionally.  He would be able to do all his church work at the office and not have to work at home (something our little ones didn't understand).  And when I think about the sacrifices that this change may require, none of them really got to me.  I was okay with less money and benefits.  I was fine with being "on call" as a staff member of the church.  I was okay with the added responsibilities that may be placed on him and me.  The only thing that scared me was the "unseen" aspect of our future - the darkness on the path ahead of us.  The part that God has chosen to keep hidden from us until the appropriate time.

My fear is because I like to have control.  I like to know what's next.  I like security and safety.  But God is slowly removing all the things in my life that are unattractive - and this need for control is next on the list.

So.... Scott has chosen our path.  It's the one that leads into the darkness - the unknown and unpredictable.  It's the one that scares me. I will surrender my fear and place my trust in God's promise that His way is better than ours. And, I will take Scott's hand and walk with him into this place where God has called him. 

 

A Mother's Work

Our society is obsessed with the idea of being productive.  Everywhere you are told how to "make the most of your time" by multitasking so that you can be a better worker.  In the job world (the one outside my door that I no longer belong to) workers are expected to produce results.  In a manufacturing job, your job performance is based on if you reached production.  In a sales job, your job performance is based on how much you have sold.  In a service job, your job performance is based on how many people you "served" that day successfully.  Even in a teaching job, your job performance is based on your students mastering a set of objectives by the end of the year based on your teaching.  Everyone has some "production" standard that has to be met.

I'm not afraid to rock the pink swing!

 

But what I have found now that I am at home is that my production is the unseen kind. I can do mountains of laundry and there is still dirty laundry at the end of the day.  I can fix three meals a day and clean the kitchen each time but everyone is still hungry the next morning.  I can bathe all the children and they will get dirty and need a bath the next day (sometimes the same day).  I can pick up all the toys and they are in the floor again before bedtime.  I can mop the floor in the morning and it's sticky by suppertime.  I can fill the fridge and pantry with a shopping trip and they are empty by the end of the week.  I can carefully shop for clothing for the children but they quickly outgrow them.  I can sweep the porch and the wind blows the leaves back to the door.  I can teach the toddler how to put on her shoes and still have to teach it again tomorrow.  I can correct my children's behavior now and again in fifteen minutes (and two dozen more times before lunch). I can make my husband's coffee and pack his lunch but I will need to do it again tomorrow. I can work and work but this work will need to be done again and again.

Gracie giving Daddee the stare

The work I do for my family is only seen when they put on their clean clothing, sleep on their clean sheets, and when they always find a snack when they are hungry.  The work I do is seen when we never run out of milk or formula or clean underwear or diapers.  The work I do is seen when the bills are paid, the appointments are kept, and the shoes fit.  The work I do is seen in the child that has good manners and the child that is kind to others.  The work I do is seen in a husband that looks forward to coming home to spend time with his family.

Our big girl in her tire swing

My work these days is not considered  productive by the world's standard.  There is no product to produce or client to make happy.  There are no objectives to meet by a deadline or sales quotas to reach.  There are only people to serve and a home that needs serviced to meet the needs of those people.  A mother's work is never done and can only be measured by the happiness that is found among the people in her home.

What's in a name? part one

When we were pregnant with Lyra Kate and we found out she was a girl, we were stumped when it came to a name.  We had actually been talking about names for years but when it came time to settle on a name - well, it wasn't so easy!  Scott and I made a deal - if it was a girl he could pick the name and if it was a boy then I would pick the name.  (I was sure I was having a boy but I was mistaken).  I kept my word and let him pick the name.

We decided we would like an "L" name and we wanted something unique.  We also wanted the name to have a good meaning and maybe part of the name to be a family name.  One day while browsing a name site I ran across the name Lyra.  I emailed it to Scott.  He did a bit of research and discovered that the meaning was perfect for us - "the instrument of God."  He then added the Kathryn, which is my sister's middle name, so that it could be shortened to Kate.  Kathryn means "pure."  So Lyra Kathryn means "the pure instrument of God."

Her name reflected the hope that we have for her - that she will one day be used by God to further His Kingdom.  We thought it was perfect.  It was an old-fashioned name that was as unique as she was.

When she was about three months old, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon.  As often happens, what I got out of the message that day had nothing to do with what our pastor was speaking on.  I realized that Lyra Kate was already "an instrument of God"! She was the fulfillment of a wonderful promise that God gave us.

We prayed many years that God would bless us with a family.  Each time we would feel like giving up hope, something would happen to give us peace and a renewed strength.  During our many years in the "desert," we knew that God would give us a family - in His time and in His way.  I still went through surgeries and treatments, and when medicine had done all it could do for me - God stepped in and gave us Lyra Kate.  Although I had lost two previous pregnancies, I knew when my little stick had two lines that this child would be our first living child.  I had a peace throughout my pregnancy because I just knew at the end we would have our long awaited child.

Lyra Kate always has a kiss and a hug for everyone.  She is very nurturing to her little brother and sister.  She is so sweet sometimes you would think she was dripping sugar!  She can be a bit challenging since she has a redheaded temper that flares up sometimes.  She has a sweet spirit and we are blessed to call her daughter.

Lyra Kate at her third birthday party

Time sure is flying!



All Smiles

 Today our little man is 12 weeks old.  My how fast it seems to be going!  We have survived my long c-section recovery, colic, daddy going out of town for three days, a four day trip to see Gamaw, a birthday party, Easter, and many sleepless nights.  We are so used to Tucker being in our lives now that it seems like he always was suppose to be here.  Well, except for Daddy, who occasionally forgets him!  Don't worry, I'm not allowing him to take him anywhere alone since he tends to forget that we've "got a third one now"!  He is a quiet little guy - most of the time.

He's gotten bigger but he's not fat.  He's now sleeping through the night consistently.  He is smiling and cooing.  He loves his big sisters and watches them intently.  He prefers Mommy still.  He is wearing 6 month clothing and taking 6 ounces with each feeding.  He's got an awesome grip and strong hands.  And he still has that new baby smell which Daddy says smells like he's been in the tanning bed.  

He is changing everyday and before I know it he will be up wrestling with his sisters and begging to go outside.  (Yes, our girls wrestle even though they have never seen anyone do this - it was spontaneous).  We are so happy to have our Tuck-Tuck!  As he is now laying on my chest snoozing while I type this, one thing comes to mind...Be not afraid to have children, they are worth the effort!

A True Friend?

Friends.  We all have them.  There are different types of friends - old friends, new friends, work friends, childhood friends, imaginary friends, and best friends.  And there are "church" friends. 

Lyra Kate has friends at church.  She asks everyday if it's church day so she can see her friends.  She's only three, so we don't have a lot of play dates yet.  She only sees these friends at church and small group meetings.  She loves spending time with her church friends.  She talks the rest of the day about them. 

Lots of church people are like this.  They have "church" friends that they see on Sundays and at small group meetings.  They really like these people.  They enjoy being with them...for the most part.  But they keep these "church" people at arms length because it's hard to be "themselves" when they are with them.

The mark of a true friend is someone who accepts you no matter what stage of life you are in - and that includes your spiritual life as well.  Your church friends should be like kin - besides, we are all blood kin through the blood of Christ.  We should focus on building each other up, encouraging each other, and praying for each other.  Your church friends should be there when you need them, in times of celebration or in times of need.  We should be real with them and we should be accepting of them.  We should be quick to forgive and restore.  We should not gossip or be divisive among our church friends.  And we should be honest. 

So, what type of friends do you have - "church" friends or true friends?  And what type of friend are you?

Change is good, right?

So, I have the "after - baby" change bug.  I want to change my wardrobe, redecorate my house, change vehicles...just really refresh everything.  Don't worry, I'll keep the hubby.  So, I decided to change hair styles.  I decided that I wanted some bangs.  I haven't had bangs in almost 20 years.  So, last week I went for a hair cut and got straight-across-the-forehead bangs!

Everyone likes or loves them.  Everyone.  People I don't even really know like them.  But me - as hard as I try, I don't like them!  In fact, I still don't know who I am when I look at myself in the mirror.  I just don't like them.  I don't think it's going to just take "getting use to them"!  I just don't like them and will be growing them out starting last week.

Change is good.  I reminded myself why I stopped having bangs.  Apparently, I had forgotten.

Life with Littles

Until yesterday, we had three - under three, for the past nine weeks.  Adjusting to a third child so soon was quite an adjustment.  Our family may be the average size but we are anything but average.  Having three littles so close together is not the norm for most folks.  Most families have two to three years between each child, but that was not God's plan for our family. 

Life with three littles is all about needs, organization, schedules, and logistics.

Who needs what, right now.  What needs to be done today and cannot wait.  Most days, here alone with the children, all their needs must be met by me.  I have to change every diaper, fill every cup, get every snack, prepare every meal, dress everyone, read every book, kiss every boo-boo, and answer every question.  There is no child that is old enough to do any of these things for themselves much less help with their younger siblings. Some of daddy's workdays are very long and that means that from breakfast to bedtime, mommy meets every need for the little ones.  Some days all that gets done are the needs.  Nothing more. If only the needs get done, then it is still a successful day.   

I used to consider myself a very organized person.  Having a place for everything saves time and energy.  With each child the need for organization increases while the time and energy to organize decreases.  Clothing organization is almost overwhelming.  Besides the time it takes to successfully do stain removal on the children's clothing and keep the laundry done, the children are growing out of clothing so fast that keeping a handle on what fits, what's too small, and who needs what replaced takes a lot of mental energy.  Since we've only been in our home for a year, it's not as organized as it needs to be.  And since we've moved three times in the last three years, our home is a lot more disorganized than I ever dreamed possible.  Truthfully, I just haven't taken the time to find a "home" for everything.  I'm working on it, and slowly maybe I'll get that under control by the end of the summer.

Scheduling with littles is a must.  We have a daily schedule that we try to keep.  One of the most important parts of the day is naptime.  All of the children nap at the same time each day. This is great for me because it gives me a couple of hours without children to get some stuff done or just to rest.  I also have to schedule my time without the children wisely.  I try to do things on the days when the children are with their grandparents that I find impossible to do with three littles.  Things like doctor or dentist appointments, getting my hair cut, and shopping for clothing for myself (which requires me try things on) are best done without three little people in tow.  Things like general shopping, grocery shopping, and errands are doable with the children. 

Logistics - the planning, execution, and control of the movement and placement of goods and people and the related supporting activities, all within a system designed to achieve specific objectives.  That pretty much sums up any outing of the Lentz family nowadays.  Just to go to the grocery store it takes 2 sippy cups, a bottle, and a snack (everyone seems to get hungry on about aisle three).  Careful planning gives us the best chance for a successful outing.  This also includes "when" we go somewhere.  We always try to go and get back before naptime.  Shopping and eating out will be very unpleasant if everyone is sleepy.  If we have three places to go before we meet daddy for lunch then we need to leave by a certain time and control the amount of time we are at each place.  Loading and unloading, diaper changing, traffic, and snack time must all be considered in determining what we can get done.  We have just successfully traveled to my Mom's house, four hours away, which was a major logistical undertaking.  It could have been better, Tucker's colic flared up on the way down there and made driving in Mobile traffic more nerve wracking than usual, but we made it with everything we needed for the trip and made it home again.

All in all this is a very busy season of life that we are in.  We have three in diapers.  Two that take sippy cups and one taking a bottle.  Some nights all three wake up and need attention.  Everyone has to be dressed, bathed, and groomed.  All three need to be buckled in and out of their carseats each time we go somewhere.  All three need to be in a stroller if we go shopping.  We need a cart just for the children at the grocery store.  Laundry and dishes are never ending.  All three are still in cribs.  There is always a toy or two that needs to be put away.  Someone is always just getting over being sick, is currently sick, or is fixen' to be sick.  Each child is working on mastering a different skill that takes extra patience and training. And it seems, Mommy is always tired.  But she is always joyful too because she remembers well how it felt to have no little people in the house.  She would not trade the craziest, noisiest, messiest day now for one of the lonely but restful days then.

The Mean Mommy

I guess by some people's standard, I would be considered a "Mean" mommy.
Why? Because ...
     I don't allow my children to play with my phone all the time.  In fact, there is not one app on there for a child!
    and I have a few rules that we try to be consistent about - and there are consequences if you break them!
    and I don't allow my 3 year old to always get her way because it's just easier that way!
    and I am very particular about what our children watch on TV!
    and I don't allow sweets or dessert unless you eat most of your meal, including veggies!

Apparently, these little things (actual parenting) makes me "mean"!  Oh well, I'll just have to be mean...but at least I'm not afraid to take my children to the grocery store - where I shop without their protesting input!

Thank you for this day?

We always utter this phrase when we pray, but do we REALLY mean it?  Are we truly thankful on the the days when...

You have six loads of laundry to do
The toddler is teething
The baby has colic
The preschooler won't stop talking
The phone won't stop ringing
Someone spills something sticky on your just cleaned kitchen floor
The hospital bill comes in
The house is a mess
Your hubby has to work late
You have a sinus headache that medication isn't helping

What if all this happens ON the SAME day?  What if ALL your days lately seem to have a similar set of circumstances?  Are you still thankful for THAT day?  Can you see past your present challenges and annoyances and see the blessings that this day holds?

Is this not the secret to having a joyful and content life?

Philippians 4:12-13

Our New Addition

Just a few hours old

Well, things have been quite busy here in the Land of Lentz lately!  We added our "little guy" on Thursday, February 17th.  He was a bit stubborn and had to be taken out by c-section which we had not planned on.  To say I was upset would be an understatement!  So after 10 hours of labor, and days of pre-labor contractions, William Tucker Lentz made his grand entrance into the world! 

Our little "Tuck-Tuck" (as Lyra Kate has dubbed him) weighed in at 9 lbs and 8 ounces and was 21 and 3/4 inches long.  His head was swollen to 18 inches in circumference and was the main reason that we had surgery. In fact, only 2 days later, the swelling had gone down so much that his head circumference was only 15 inches.

Only 3 days old

  The first thing Scott said upon getting a good look at him was that he had my dimple!  I've been quite disappointed that neither of our girls "got" my dimple, so I was happy that he got this trait from me.  But other than that and the blue eyes, our little Tucker looks just like his Daddy!  In fact, the older he gets the more he looks like Scott.

My recovery has been long.  I won't go into the sorted details but I've had 4 rounds of antibiotics, 1 trip to the Emergency Room, and a fractured foot in the 34 days since having Tucker - and that doesn't include recovering from surgery.  So, our adjustment has been quite difficult with my being so sick.  Scott and his parents have had to do a lot more than usual. Our church fed us for 15 days straight - a huge blessing! 

Napping

 Now that I'm feeling normal again, I hope to keep up our blog.  Of course we have lots going on so there is plenty to share.  And I'm getting faster at typing one handed while the other hand holds our newest blessing.

Little Boodawg